It’s been six years since President Obama was first elected to office. In that time, sadly, we’ve had to watch his once inspiring aura of cool and edge fade away as he’s had to fight off attacks from pundits, Republicans, and the Tea Party. Being the first black President has brought out the worst in this post-racial world.
And yet, people still more or less like Vice President Joe Biden. It got me to thinking: If Hilary Clinton hadn’t messed it up all those years ago, maybe she would’ve been elected President of the United States. Perhaps, in her need to stay hip, while also securing the future of her party, she would’ve named Senator Barack Obama as her Vice President. She would be reviled now (even more than she already is), but Barack Obama would be free to mouth off and still be cool and edgy. The GOP and Fox wouldn’t love him, but EVERYONE would like him, and he’d be a shoo-in to be the next President. This alternate reality is all about the
ADVENTURES OF THE FIRST BLACK VICE PRESIDENT!
May 6, 2012
Vice President Barack Obama appears on “Meet the Press”, when he is asked about President Hilary Clinton’s opinions on gay marriage.
Okay… Listen up, Dave. We’re down with it. This administration is about moving forward. Bottom line. You heard something different?
Uh… No… But… President Clinton hasn’t been forthcoming about the administration’s position.
Guess what, bruh? You talkin’ to number two. My word is as good as gold. This America, or what? We just showed the world that we can put a black man thisclose to the most powerful office in the world. How’s it going to look if we don’t hold true on our promise of freedom and equality for everybody?
That’s an excellent point, Mr. Vice President.
Damn right it is. Everyone knows how much I love this country. When it comes to civil rights, it’s time to put up or shut up.
VICE PRESIDENT OBAMA LEAVES THE STUDIO to CHEERING fans on the street. As he makes his way to the car,
Sir, President Clinton has called she needs to speak to you immediately.
CAR DOOR CLOSES. OBAMA PICKS UP THE PHONE.
Hello, Madam President.
I suppose you called to yell at me about the gay marriage thing.
Don’t be ridiculous. You did great! Just like always have you seen Fox?
Obama turns on the TELEVISION in the limo. Switches it to FOX, where HANNITY, COULTER, and KRAUTHAMMER are on the air.
I suppose you saw Vice President Obama on Meet The Press this morning.
Wouldn’t miss it. If there’s one person, who is the voice of this nation, it’s Vice President Obama.
Crazy how his critics call him a “loose cannon” and a “nut job”. His ideas aren’t crazy at all.
He speaks from the heart.
The thing is, he’s an American…
That’s never been in doubt, he was born in Hawaii. Everyone knows that.
Of course. Not a bad place to grow up.
Raised by a single mother, though… That couldn’t have been easy. It’s his work as a community organizer that always impressed me though.
You’re right about that. Nothing more patriotic than organizing your neighbors. He certainly knows struggle.
And that’s why when he speaks of gay rights as “civil rights’ well… It’s hard to argue…
You’re right about that. Ann? Anything to add?
I still hate him.
Obama turns off the TV.
That wasn’t bad at all.
No! Thanks for doing what you do! See you when you get back!
You got it!
Where to now, Mr. Vice President, the airport?
Heck no! Let’s go get some lobster!
ADVENTURES OF THE FIRST BLACK VICE PRESIDENT!!!
On the next Adventures of the First Black Vice President, President Hilary Clinton signs her health bill, ClintonCare, into law. The country goes apeshit, until Vice President Obama chimes in.
Chill out! There’s a lot of sick people out there and they’re going broke. Think of it this way, if you have healthier citizens, you have a healthier military.
This guy makes so much fuckin’ sense!
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